in these recent days , i feel so tired of getting into the problems of
RELATIONSHIP .don't misunderstand it , it doesn't just mean of LOVE .
i'm wondering why did i so care about how others look at me , and what they think of me .
SUPER CARE , i admit .
somehow i found myself , STUPID .
i've always got myself into a state of confusion and low ebb .
what the hell am i doing ?
the one who had been so confident in herself , where did she go ?
it has vanished into thin air , i'm searching it all the way ...
the more the feeling of inferior facing me , the more the jealousy searching for me .
i hate it , damn it !
i'm greeedy , i'm eager and long for more and more .
more of love , more of care , more of attention .
each time my sixth sense told me that someone hate me , my heart seemed like gotta break up .
i hate the feelings of being hated .
but i think again : is that my attitude problem ?
Noone will ever answer me the TRUTH .
"aiya , where got ? you veli gud ar .. "
this is what i always got from others .
they just .. don't mention about my weaknesses , until i feel like my brain gonna burst out !
Maybe that's really my own problem , or maybe that's just others' jealousy to me ?
How do i know ?
This world is really fake , freaking fake like hell .
i prefer to be in true life , no matter how it hurts , at least .. it hides no lie .
i hate of being a fake character in front of human beings .
so i just be what i suppose to be , but .. it never satisfies them .
no matter what i do , it seems like , everything is going wrong .
OR , my mind is simply out of control . OR , my sixth sense has gone mad .
what did it suppose to be ?
I HAVE NO ANSWERS .
people always said to me : "aiya , so many people care of you ad , you don't need me , im just nothing for you ."
and after saying this , they could just leave me .
HAHAHA what a FUNNY reactions !
yes yes yes , just because all of them are thinking the same way and at last i own nothing .
and .. PLEASE LA , everyone is different to me , everyone is special , how can they compare it and said that , they are just nothing , and then just simply ignore my feelings ?
what the hell is that !
im raving mad and disgruntled of all those words !!
they said that i'm negative thinking , then how about their words like this !?
f***ing mad now .
frustration gonna fill up my mind as long as i can't get my answers .
PERHAPS ALL THE PROBLEMS CAME FROM MYSELF .
Y: a mad person will say something in a mad way , and just , MAD . ==
