Convent ROCKS !

Convent .. ROCKS !! Convent .. ROCKS !!

Woo ~~~~!

this is what i always heard for today after the patriotic songs choir competition in state level .

We sang , We played , we danced , we shouted , and whatever from the school SMK Keladi in Kulim until we got up to the bus to go home .

and we still continued that until we had to go home .

HAHAHA .

i was really so so so so happiee today , and i'd longed for this feelings for how long ...

it was so sweeeet and touched !

and it was like so .. innocent and naive . HAHAHA !

i can forgot all the unhappies with you all here .

actually .. on reaching Alor Star and our school Convent ...

i felt like i wanna cry !

it was just like .. i feel so reluctant to all of them .

they are just simply sweeeet !!

I LOVE YOU ALL , SERIOUSLY !! ^^

hmmm ..

btw .. no matter how , we've done our best !!

the 0.4 marks ... let it be a pass beh ==

HAHAHA .

WE ARE THE CHAMPION IN HEARTS .

wakakakak ! ^^

hmmm .. actually yyy are we feeling so reluctant ?

WE STILL HAVE TO MEEEET IN SCHOOL TOMORROW !?

Aler ~~~

sot lak us .

HAHAHA .

however , sir promised that he'll be organising a trip purposely for Choir members !!

oh yeaiii !~

i was superb anxious to be waiting for the day !

and the hanging outs we'd promised .

no.2 also can celebrate one what xDD

well .. that's all my day .

photos ? please referred to FACEBOOK "Ying Be'Loved" .

xD

Y: i felt so happiee to be with you all , Convent ROCKS !!! ^^

无理取闹 NO.1

我又是无理取闹了。

...

最近总是这样，就算了。

还大声跟阿爸阿妈说话。

我快愧疚死了。

但是 我就是不懂我怎么了。

我要疯了啦！

arghh ~~~~

要我相信一个人，我就是那么没有安全感。

我能怎样啊？

就是不能嘛 ... 要我 an zua ??

神仙都搭救不了我了。

自己又救不到自己。

有啦，去撞墙晕晕掉就好了咯！

简单~

直接从此不问世事，做个没知觉 没感觉的人。

我就比用酱辛苦。

唉，人啊 ......

相信一个人，又会被背叛

不相信，却无法真心地面对

叫人怎么做叻？

宁愿选择不相信，才不会受到伤害？

还是勇敢地去相信，让人不受伤害，却在哪一天自己受伤？

试试看。

看看你的答案，会是个真心却冒险的，还是胆怯却保护着自己的？

我啊，是选择真心没错啦。

但是 就 ... 就 ... 总是在害怕。

因为 我真的没自信。

Y: 我选不出来，叫我能怎么办？ TT

PLEASE !!

http://www.scienceclarified.com/Ci-Co/Cigarette-Smoke.html

NIE , i'm coming near to you .

LOLLL sien lak .

today i'd realise the hardest thing to do IN THE WORLD ( cheong kam poh used to be using this phrase xD )

what's that ?

that is LAUGHING EVEN YOU ARE UNHAPPY .

HAHAHA .

believe it ?

if not , try so .

i'm successfully done it .

LOLLL .

pek chek with my Grade 8 piano exam which is coming .

i'm not playing veli well , at least i'm not satisfied more than ever .

ar ... SUCKS .

whatever now .

gotta practise , or else i will die soon .

pray for me so that i can pass the exam PLEASE !!

*amitofo*

Y: you'd become .. like a stranger that i'm not used to .

Phobia Of Responsibility

recently EMO ~~

i admitted , maybe holidays are really too boring , keep thinking something nonsense .

wakakak .

now i'm normal .

xD

well , today i'd received a news ..

but .. i don't know whether it's gooood or badddd for me .

will that be the second chance for me to handle something well ?

will that be the chance to prove myself again ?

i'm just .. too lack of confidence in myself since the incident happened .

i know i have noone to blame except myself .

well , this is my 2nd chance to prove it , LOL .

I WILL TRY TO BE RESPONSIBLE for this .

i swear =X

but , i'm scared that it will be a failure again .

i'm kinda .. TL .

"what the piku ~~ "

i need to regain my self-confidence .

but .. how to do it ?

anyone can please help me and prop me up from my fall ??

TT

i'm just simply , feared of the responsibility putting on my shoulder .

don't even wanna .

Y: since when , i have lost all my strength to believe in myself ?? :((

Sucks Minded X.X

I'm freakingly tired of such stuff stucking in my mind .

what's the matter !?

am i really just a fool being a tool of you all ?

i don't know .

PERHAPS I AM !?

but i hate being that .

can't just care of my feelings ?

i'm human too , i have feelings too .

this is how you show your respect to me ?

or can i say , i am not being respected .

is that my own problem ?

i'm not really worthy to be respected to be cared ??

i'm wondering ...

is my attitude problematic ?

i'm too yong sui ?! LOLLL =.='''

i kept thinking of these stupidest questions in the world , and i have no answers to .

WHAT THE HELL .

F*** OFF .

i'm tired of being the FOOL .

i'll never ever wanna be a TOOL for anyone !

CHEAP !

arghh .. i'm blowing my top .

at the same time , i find myself freakin DOWN .

this is what i SHOULD gain in my life ?

i can't accept it ...

shit , my world appears to be grey .. damnly .

i'm just a ZERO in people's heart .

NONONO , i can say I AM JUST NOTHING , BUT FOOL , AND TOOL !

ARGHH , SAVE ME OUT OF HERE , WHO CAN ?

i guess NO ONE will ever care of me , still .

i'm disappointed .......

LOVE YOU xD

A quite busy day .

Suddenly , a smile etched out on my face .

it had me relax down all the while .

I LOVE YOU ! ^^

maybe i'm not used to it , maybe i'm too weak , or maybe , i just have myself weaker and weaker because of this .

perhaps , i should try to get stronger and stronger by myself .

im trying !

i know you will support me right , my dearssss ??

hehehe .

well , i'm just simply feel too strange to live by myself , with no any dependence .

LOLLLL .

again maybe i'm the youngest in the family , and i'm always being protected by everyone around , so i'm not used to living by my own .

no one knows that , except myself .

i'm trying to hide away my weaknesses , and trying harddd to change myself .

i don't want to be a loser in this stupiddd freaking world .

i wanna live with happiness and of course , PEACE !

but sometimes i can be the one who fusses up something .

haihhh ~

just because of something i couldn't bear .

but this is ME , just accept it then .

nonetheless , I LOVE MY STYLE xD

i'm easily being hurt , easily feeling lonely , easily going berserk , moody girl .

wao ~~~ can it all be seen throughout my appearance ?

i guess it's not ? xD

and i'm not actually a strong one , yes .

hiding myself is always the one i would choose for all .

wondering yyy ?

just because i hate being a loser ?

PERHAPS ?

WHATEVER xD

this few days , i don't know whether is that i'm too bored or i'm too free or damn freaking sucks mind is getting berserk , or .. WHATEVER ..

again i'm simply thinking too much of whatever .

i'm frus up with myself sometimes ==

gila one lol !

forgive me , sometimes that's not all i want to be >

but i'm the kind of person , failed in changing .

arghh , FORGET ABOUT IT !

now now now , i gotta BACK TO MY ESSAYS ...

i'm staying here for tooooo long already , it's time .

hahahah , bla bla bla here is just too gooood .

i can gain my mooood .

i like this feeling of revealing .......

it heals my heart ~ ^^

Y: larb you ever xD

Tiring ..

hmmm .. i seemed to have forgotten when was my last post .

whatever , it doesn't important .

i'm feeling quite tired ..

i've just reached Alor Star yesterday and i attended my tuition class this morning at 7.30am !!

LOLLLL .

and now , i'm wondering how can i finish my homework in these few days , so short time .

25 essays , 50 newspaper clippings , N.I.E ( just for the stupid pizza hut == )

i don't even touch it in the holidays .

in fact , i don't have the time too xD

just now i had just attended my piano lesson .

i'm getting more and more stressful right now .

25 june will be my dying date .

i don't dare to think of what the examiner's face will be .

strict one ? friendly one ?

whatever , what is the most important ......

my exam pieces are not even satisfied by my teacher , or even myself :((

who can help me ? MYSELF .

who can let me to confide in right now ? MYSELF .

who can console me for a moment ? MYSELF .

i just realise that i have no friends who can be confided in .

NOT EVEN ONE .

i feel so helpless in this moment .

sometimes , i do feel breathless of knowing friends .

i don't feel their true hearts , or maybe , that's the own problem of myself ?

PERHAPS , I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COMMUNICATE .

i was dreadful , i was a fool ?

TIRING MIND ......

lastly ..

I'M DEAD MISSING YOU ! ="(

keeping , ignoring :'' ))

i keep everything on my own , for fear that it will be discovered .

i am enough tired of that .

and i couldn't bear for the next moment .

i'm disappointed for all , why ?

i think nothing much of it , but that is all the end , that is what you want .

HAHAHA , what kind of FUN .

i will swallow it , digest it , and eventually , get sick of it .

my happiness turns out to be at the others' PLACE .

FUNNY , i thought .........

ya , that is what i thought , definitely , JUST THOUGHTS xD

refusing to see , refusing to feel , refusing to know

everything , anything .

remaining INDIFFERENT will be what i want now .

i'm trying to F&F .

this is the only thing i could do , but not showing my weaknesses .

how clever am i xD

Y : but cleverness doesn't help :''((

END !

this is the ENDING you want , OK .

I ACCEPT IT , THEN !?

what the hell .