jie , i love you ;p

jieee !! i love you ! 

HAHAHAHA.

my sis had come back since ... last few days .

hehehe , my house is getting kacau and kacau once again .

haihhh , but .. i love it ~ wakakaka .

btw , the purpose she came back is to attend my grandma's bufdae dinner .

heeee , we had a whale of a time on that day .

and surely we had "ban leng leng" lu . ^^

each time she came back , we would do something idiot .

no choice , we're just too sampat though it's special enough , HIAKHIAK .

we always love our ways :D

and too , always did the same expression ~ ^^

sama binsuii . really cham one lak . HAHAHA .

i love her <3

 i could still remember what photos she chose to put into my bufdae video and SUAN me , si za bo XD

and now i'd cut my hair short ! 

i'm even younger !!! HNGGG ! 

no more hao lian nahhh , blek ~~~ ^^

gooood for being ugly ?? 

haihh , whatever , we're just simply doing something ... stupiddd =x

HAHAHAHA .

as long as we're happy , blek ~

dun criticize us , since you don't have the right to :D

hmmm hmmm , i'm going to follow her back to KL 2moro and enjoy my holidays !

she's going to bring me to snowflakes , go for a shopping spree , pets adoption centre .........

i'm so anxious for it !!

ah yaaaaaaa , cyee ooi , my beloved dar is also following too .

she's going to meet her bro in KL .

HAHAHA , it's somewhat an excuse to go there for SHOPPING .

DAR , I CAUGHT YOU !

hahahaha . ^^

KL's vacation , will be updated here sooonnnn .

wait for me , and don't miss me too muchiee ~~

hahahah , mmmmuacks ! 

H.E.Y !

H.E.Y. Horng.Ee.Ying.

HAHAHA, this is another team created after nMn.

awwww, suddenly my mind is full of these few siao kias,and they can be the most important ones in my life after my family i guess.

they are good companions and always love me, IF I AM NOT WRONG, AND I HOPE SO. hahahaha.

surely ah bun, kerou, ahpi are no exception.

they fulfil my days and enlighten my life.

they'd made it full of love and care. I love you all too, mmmmmmmmuacks ! ^^

anyway, yesterday night we were together again !

hahahaha, we keep meeting one another of late.

though i love it, at least my holidays are full of activities but not full of nothing. LOL. xD

for a moment, look at this photos. ^^

yeaii , siao kia XD

my lovely dar.^^

and this is H.E.Y ! <3

all in all, we had a nice day together ! ^^

mmmmmmmmuacks, 2moro will be a gathering again ! yeaii, anxious for it.

Sot liao :D

halo , im back. XD

i found that each time im back, it's high time for me to get off and reveal my feelings,

but it's all in negative way. LOLLL.

please forgive me for being EMO for all the posts.

hahahaha.

hmmm , how to start it all ?

i've met some problem .

and it felt like.. gonna give up soon and end up everything.

i couldn't feel the sincere.

i feel so suffer.

but.. i could not afford to lose it.

but.. i don't want to be in this state anymore.

seriously, im in a state of confusion.

i'm getting withdrawn and refusing social contact ?

oh nonono ...

im trying to get over the feelings of giving up.

but, each time i wake up, if the feeling is still there, it means that the stuff has reached the maximum point in me and i might not afford to stand with it.

im now really, heck.

btw, because of this, i'd been mad once again and did something to ease my hateful feeling.

see this !

look ! my hair is short again ~~~ hahahaha .

it just took me few minutes to change a look , and just because of this , im getting better.

and now i gotcha.

changing hair style could also help in changing my mood to better one.

HAHAHAHA.

woo ~~ but if it's really so, i think i might be bold at last. TT

WHATEVER NOW.

im going to attend my fren's daddy's wedding dinner tonight.

and i think i might shock my frens off ??

hahahah . byeee , mmmmmuacks .

疯子

很可笑～

我...又是打回原形，变成了原来的我。

这段时间以来的努力改变都白费了。

我...原来始终摆脱不掉，当初的阴影。

我依然活在那黑影下，失去安全感，也失去对人的信任。

然而，我相信的，只有..........

我也不懂。

人，真的好难懂。

或许，那是我的多于顾虑。

或许，那是我的第六感在给我警告，要我远离那些曾经经历的鸟事。

但是，若不是呢？

若他人是真心对待，而我却糟蹋他们的真诚，那我该怎么做？

有时候，我知道，他人是因为我的过分担心而渐渐疏离我。

即使我知道了，我还能怎么做？

失去的东西，是我要怎么挽回都是于事无补的。

人，一旦对你没了兴趣，就不会再对你有任何关心。

还有！

为什么总是抱着“很多人都会关心你，多我一个不多”的心态跟我相处？

我就那么不值得你去关心多一点？这根本是一个借口？

还是我就是让人觉得那么不被需要？

是我的问题，还是你的借口？

我怎么知道？

我的问题，从来得不到答案。

即使有，我也不懂得分辨孰真孰假.......

或许我的情绪低落，我的负面思想会让人觉得厌烦。

但他们从来没想过要去了解我的不开心背后所隐藏的故事。

也好，反正我也不想说，算了。

我想要有一个倾诉的对象......

不是特定的埋怨，而是可以让我没有牵挂没有顾虑地发泄出心中的感受。

可惜，这个人，好像还没出现。

也或者，这种人，根本不存在。

所有问题的根源，是我摆脱不了当初的所有阴影，失去了安全感。

心寒，心冷，心淡。

我要怎么解决自己的问题？

我...懂得。但是...却怎么都做不到。

真的好难~~

我是自私了。

只有自私一点，我好像才能减低心中莫名的恐惧。

但是，我不想让自己变得自私。

可是........

我真的像个疯子。