Relationship's plight

in these recent days , i feel so tired of getting into the problems of RELATIONSHIP .

don't misunderstand it , it doesn't just mean of LOVE .

i'm wondering why did i so care about how others look at me , and what they think of me .

SUPER CARE , i admit .

somehow i found myself , STUPID .

i've always got myself into a state of confusion and low ebb .

what the hell am i doing ?

the one who had been so confident in herself , where did she go ?

it has vanished into thin air , i'm searching it all the way ...

the more the feeling of inferior facing me , the more the jealousy searching for me .

i hate it , damn it !

i'm greeedy , i'm eager and long for more and more .

more of love , more of care , more of attention .

each time my sixth sense told me that someone hate me , my heart seemed like gotta break up .

i hate the feelings of being hated .

but i think again : is that my attitude problem ?

Noone will ever answer me the TRUTH .

"aiya , where got ? you veli gud ar .. "

this is what i always got from others .

they just .. don't mention about my weaknesses , until i feel like my brain gonna burst out !

Maybe that's really my own problem , or maybe that's just others' jealousy to me ?

How do i know ?

This world is really fake , freaking fake like hell .

i prefer to be in true life , no matter how it hurts , at least .. it hides no lie .

i hate of being a fake character in front of human beings .

so i just be what i suppose to be , but .. it never satisfies them .

no matter what i do , it seems like , everything is going wrong .

OR , my mind is simply out of control . OR , my sixth sense has gone mad .

what did it suppose to be ?

I HAVE NO ANSWERS .

people always said to me : "aiya , so many people care of you ad , you don't need me , im just nothing for you ."

and after saying this , they could just leave me .

HAHAHA what a FUNNY reactions !

yes yes yes , just because all of them are thinking the same way and at last i own nothing .

and .. PLEASE LA , everyone is different to me , everyone is special , how can they compare it and said that , they are just nothing , and then just simply ignore my feelings ?

what the hell is that !

im raving mad and disgruntled of all those words !!

they said that i'm negative thinking , then how about their words like this !?

f***ing mad now .

frustration gonna fill up my mind as long as i can't get my answers .

PERHAPS ALL THE PROBLEMS CAME FROM MYSELF .

Y: a mad person will say something in a mad way , and just , MAD . ==